From Ear to Ear 3

I’m going to be an author! A real author with a real book produced, bound and published by a real publishing company!

I submitted the manuscript almost a year ago and hadn’t heard anything since. I’ve submitted many manuscripts to many publishing companies so I know that no news is usually not good news in the book biz.

Then out of the blue on a day when I was feeling blue, I get word that my words are going to print!

I was feeling blue because my face is red – BRIGHT red, neon red with potential glow-in-the dark properties. It’s a color I don’t think even Crayola could produce.

I had to have a laser treatment done on my face last week and between the swelling, the peeling, and the extra-terrestrial color I look like a horror film extra.

For several days now I’ve been keeping on the down low trying to limit human contact. Then low and behold, I get a piece of killer news! I’m so excited I can hardly contain myself.

A giddy smile wants to spread across my face.

But it can’t.

It’s stuck.

A wall of sore fluorescent puffiness prohibits any outside expression of elation to surface.

I want to laugh and jump up and down.

But I can’t.

Laughing and jumping produces throbbing pain to my swollen red head.

I want to run outside and spout my news to the world.

But I can’t.

My skin is super vulnerable in its healing process and exposure to sunlight could cause damage.

I cry instead.

I cry because I can’t smile, or laugh, or jump up and down, or go outside. I cry because I’m super excited but too swollen and sore to express it.

Salty tears run down my raw hamburger face and cause severe stinging.

Nobody was home when I received the news. When Jason walked in the door I met him with my announcement. He smiled and laughed and jumped up and down. He said, “We should go out and celebrate!” Pause. “Oh, yea.”

We discussed at length the cruelty of life’s timing.

He did manage to sneak me into a late night movie the next day though. I wore sunglasses and a hat. I only scared one little girl, that I know of.

When I told my kids the news, my oldest daughter responded, “That’s way cool Mom! Why aren’t you acting more excited?”

I told her that my innards were having a blow-out bash, but my exterior was unavailable for comment at this time due to a medical condition.

She looked disappointed, so I told her I would push against the puffiness to give her the best smile I could muster and said, “This is me smiling from ear to ear.” (see pic)

3 thoughts on “From Ear to Ear

  1. Reply Jana Jul 11,2011 10:25 pm

    That is fantastic news!!!! Message me details! I’m sorry about your “medical condition” and hope you are able to celebrate from the neck up soon :0)

  2. Reply Amy weiland Jul 11,2011 10:31 pm

    So cool! I signed my my mom up for your emails and she is thoroughly enjoying them! Ill occasionally get a forward of an already existent email saying “did you read this one?” it’s a nice bonding moment. So thanks for having your book come out for mothers day. Some candy and flowers should complete the gift. Mothers day 2012 {{check!!}}

  3. Reply Linda Johnson Jul 19,2011 5:37 pm

    Congratulations! As Amy said, we are using your column for some mom/daughter bonding, and really enjoying it.

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