My body and brain are having a hard time getting out of holiday mode and if I switch to the Chinese New Year I still have two more weeks to stay up late, sleep in, food glut and shop needlessly.
Unfortunately, I discovered I’m a Eurostock thoroughbred. I couldn’t even find an Asian migrant railroad worker affair or Chinese mail-order bride among us, so there is no reasonable explanation for my sushi addiction.
What messed me up was having New Year’s Day on Sunday. You can’t spend the day on the couch in sweats watching bowl games and binge drinking sparkling cider on the sabbath. Luckily, the government is required to make Monday a legal holiday when a legit holiday falls on the weekend, so I was able to celebrate properly then.
The problem is, on that holiday Monday I think to myself, Well, this week is already shot so why don’t I just start my resolutions next week when I have a full week to concentrate my improvement efforts.
Such a scapegoat gave me the perfect opportunity to spend a holiday “bonus” weekend being irresponsible on all counts.
On Friday night, Jason and I went out to eat at our favorite restaurant Le Nonne, which we usually only splurge for Valentine’s Day or our anniversary. But I took it as a sign I had made the right choice to extend my holiday allowances when the waiter announced the specials which included my favorite dish, shrimp ravioli. It is tiny pink fish and ricotta cheese wrapped in heaven and covered with a cream sauce made by the gods.
After sopping up every last ounce of sauce with bread, I was too full for dessert. Bummer. But we ran a couple of errands around town and all that driving worked my appetite back up so we went to Cold Stone.
The inventor of cake batter flavored ice cream should be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.
Saturday morning I had to take my kids to Ogden for piano lessons. After I dropped them off at Grandma’s, I seized the opportunity to go to Target since my community is deliberately depriving us of one to keep us as helpless Walmart minions.
Having busted my holiday budget I had no intentions to shop, I just had to return a couple of Christmas things that didn’t work out. Plus, on Monday night Jason and I did go over our finances and set some goals. For some psychotic reason, I went all noble and decided to set a resolution that I wouldn’t buy any new clothes in 2012, including shoes and accessories.
Jason laughed. My children laughed. My two indoor cats laughed. But I’ll have the last laugh when they suddenly become barn dwellers with our other two cats.
But times are tough, I have plenty of nice things and I really can’t justify my clothing expenditures, even though they make me really, really, really, really happy.
I am determined to see if I can do this.
After the return at Target, I started browsing around, just a little. I figured since I had just saved some money with the return I had a little leeway. Plus, I hadn’t decided for sure when my new year was going to start. Surprisingly, nothing at Target caught my fancy. I exited the store purchaseless.
I did it! Even after having given myself some justification I managed to escape without a single wearable item.
Next, I had to drive to a little boutique in Salt Lake where Jason bought me a skirt for Christmas while we were there for my birthday outing earlier in December. While I was in a nearby fabric store he said he had to go to the bathroom and went and bought the skirt on the sly. Isn’t that sweet? The skirt was darling, but apparently he thinks I’m the size of an oaf so I needed to exchange the size.
Though the boutique was filled with super cute stuff at amazing after-Christmas prices, I made the exchange and bee-lined for the door.
I was so proud of myself. Perhaps I wouldn’t need to change my name to Pong and celebrate Chinese New year. Perhaps I am stronger than I think!
Thinking myself invincible at this point, I made a terrible mistake. I went to the Gateway Mall – my favorite fashion mecca. But I was only going there to get some take-out from Thaifoon for lunch. Their honey walnut shrimp is right up there with Le Nonne’s shrimp ravioli. I for sure hadn’t started my diet new year yet.
I picked up my lunch and started back for the car, when an outfit in a display window caught my eye. I’ll just look, I thought. I figured I could appreciate the artistic value of clothing without having to buy any. After rebuffing two serious temptatious situations I figured I was strong enough to browse.
And I was, at first.
I made it out of a couple of stores with my credit card unscathed. But, then I found myself in a store where everything seemed to be calling my name and telling me how cute I looked in it, and how reasonably priced it was, and how my holiday poundage doesn’t even show in it.
At the check out counter I called Jason and said, “新年快樂!”
“That’s ‘Happy New Year’ in Chinese.”
“You’re at the mall aren’t you.”
“Yes, and I’m going by ‘Pong’ now.”
“Well, Pong I hope you bought some fancy kimonos along with all the other clothes you bought because you’re going to have to hire out as a geisha to pay for them.”
After giving him an exclusive fashion show of my new wardrobe acquisitions while we downed the last bottle of sparkling cider and a bulk bag of Sixlets together, Jason said he didn’t care if I kept my resolution or not.
Men are so easy.
But, I AM going to keep my resolutions. I started them today. After my riotous weekend I committed to turning over a new leaf now instead of waiting for the Chinese New Year.
I went for a run this morning, had a spinach salad for lunch, and spent the afternoon unsubscribing from all mailing lists that feature anything wearable.
According to the Chinese calendar 2012 is the year of the dragon, which means it’s totally going to blow.