We were trying to ration what there was evenly between the kids, but it wasn’t going well.
“You big pig, you took way more!”
“I did not. It just looks like more because it’s all spread out!”
“Whatever. You’re always so selfish!”
“Who’s being selfish if you’re so worried about how much you get?”
“You’re both selfish pigs. I hardly got any after you two hogged it!”
Jason tried to casually redirect the conversation to save the family dinner atmosphere. “So Scott, what did you do in after school fitness club today?”
Everyone completely forgot they were eating dry fries.
Jason stifled a laugh. “Really? How was that?”
More stifling. “What was awkward about it?”
“The positions and stuff we had to do. He kept telling us to squeeze our buttocks.”
“He? Your teacher was a man?”
Sisters reactions, “Ewww! That’s just nasty.” “Totally wrong.”
Jason asked, “Was he wearing a unitard?”
Scott continued, “He had us do these weird positions though. One even had the word ‘awkward’ right in the title. The teacher said, ‘I like to call this one awkward airplane.’ You’re in like push-up position and you have to lift one arm and the opposite leg and balance. Our regular teacher walked in the gym during that one and said, ‘What is that position called – dog by a fire hydrant?'”
“Dude, I’m sorry. That is awkward.”
Moral of the story: If you make homemade fries for dinner, make sure you have enough ketchup.