Dental Kare

My gums decided to follow suit with the economy and go into recession.

I had gum graft surgery yesterday because my gums have receded by a couple teeth and now I have a canker the size and shape of Alaska in my mouth.

NOTE TO SELF: Don’t plan to run errands that involve talking to people after having a dental procedure that includes mouth numbing because people think you’re either drunk or having a stroke.

Though it might sound like a diet of soft foods for a couple of days would be kinda fun—ice cream, yogurt, pudding, applesauce, etc.—it really isn’t because the thought of putting anything near the crater in my mouth kills any desire to eat.

Well, my mouth has no desire to eat, but my stomach wants to change my mouth’s mind because it would like a lil’ something to gnaw on. So, my stomach growls while my gums complain and I feel like I have two internal teenagers.

Even though the procedure was awful, my dentist is really nice.

He’s my neighbor, actually, so he probably feels extra pressure to refine his sinkside manner or he knows I’ll send my kids over to toilet paper his house.

His office is all high-techy with a TV in the ceiling to watch and earphones to listen to in order to distract from the discomfort and awkwardness you feel while someone is sewing your mouth back together.

I watched some great infomercials, and since I’ve spent the past two days laying on the couch with an icepack on my face and a computer on my lap, I’ve ordered way too many things “risk free.”

The meds Dr. Neighbor gave me must have really made me loopy because I just ordered the “Insanity Workout” on dvd.

It’s amazing how fat you feel after sitting on the couch for two days even though you haven’t eaten anything. But I have spent waaaaay too much time looking at edible bouquet websites and I’m pretty sure those deliciously evil arrangements can make you gain weight just by looking at them!

I’ve also rediscovered eBay, and I’m ecstatic to report that I won the bid on a pair of boots I’ve been lusting over and watching for since last winter! I even got them for a decent price, I think. Between the pain, the meds, the infomercials, and the screen-time overload I may have lost touch with reality.

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