All I wanted was to go to prom with someone I actually liked, or at least someone with basic functioning social skills.
Was that so much to ask?
My mother raised her daughters to graciously accept at least one date when a guy asked, so long as he wasn’t an ax murderer. “It takes a lot of courage for a boy to ask a girl out, and the least you can do is go out with him once to be polite.”
Well, I’d be polite—A LOT.
You see, my mother also raised her daughters to “be nice to everyone,” which sounds like a good thing, but not always.
The trouble with dweebs is, since most of the population either mercilessly mocks them or completely ignores them, if you smile and say “hi” to them just to be nice like your mother taught you, or even talk to them because your last names are next to each other alphabetically so you end up sitting next to them in AP Biology, then they immediately think, “She loves me!”
So they ask you out. And they call you. And they follow you around. And they drive back and forth in front of your house. And write you creepy love notes. And they don’t know how to take subtle hints like, “I have leprosy.”
That’s what I got for being nice to everyone—a collection of dance pictures that look like I was working my way through the cast of The Goonies.
So, for my senior prom I just wanted to go to my last high school dance with someone who wouldn’t answer every question with a Star Trek reference.
But, it wasn’t meant to be.
They guy I liked, who I thought liked me back, ditched me for an old flame right before prom, and all my guy friends asked chicks they knew they could get action from.
I did get asked to the prom, by a guy I hardly knew who ran with a group of friends who went by CB radio handles and called into local radio shows to chat about new wave music.
I couldn’t do it.
I was eighteen years old and about to venture out on my own, so I didn’t have to be polite anymore just because my mother said I should.
I told him “No.”
I didn’t say, “I’ve already been asked by somebody else,” then call in a favor from a cousin, or “Sorry, but I’m going to my grandma’s that weekend,” or “I’m washing my hair.”
I told him the truth, like guys say they want girls to do. Guys say they just want girls to be honest. They say if a girl doesn’t want to go out with them, the girl should be straight up about it so guys don’t waste their time and money.
That is a lie.
I got nailed to a wall.
People I didn’t even know came up to me at school and said the least I could have done was lie to the poor dork.
Eventually it blew over, and there is life after high school.
Then, 22 years later, I simply post a scriptural quote on Facebook the day after the election that I think has a modern application to what is happening in our country, and guess who slams me with a liberal backlash comment? My non-prom date.
As I’ve grown up and matured I’ve gradually returned to the teachings of my mother to “be nice to everyone,” so when high school alumni I hardly knew or liked asked to be FB friends I accepted.
There is life after high school, but apparently some of it still resembles high school.
He’s obviously still bitter about being denied.
But I’m still glad I said no.
Worse than going out with a dweeb would be having to say I once went out with a lib.