White Christmas

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you, Mother Nature!

Actually, you should all probably thank me for this beautiful white Christmas because last night I made my family watch the classic White Christmas against their will, and I’m pretty sure it’s my devotion as a hopeless musical junkie that prompted this beautiful holiday weather.

My kids had never seen White Christmas all the way through before.

Pathetic.

Their techno-hyper Generation Z attention spans couldn’t hack it.

They did make it through this time though. My oldest daughter actually liked it because she’s gained a new appreciation for musicals since she was recently in her high school musical production, but my other two stuck it out only because I bribed them with treats, and threatened to take back some presents.

They kept saying, “What does this song have to do with Christmas?”

They just don’t get it.

The point of musicals is not to have a point. Just like the movies today are pointless plotless vehicles to highlight glamorized violence, needless nudity, and the latest advances in special effects, musicals are pointless plotless vehicles to highlight elaborate musical numbers.

Yes, musicals are super sappy and cheesy, but at least they’re happy and clean!

If I wanted to be depressed, I’d watch the news. I don’t need to pay $10.50 to see the world go to hell in handbasket in 3D.

I’d much rather hear Bing croon and see Danny tap to solve the financial issues of General Waverly than finagle some down low scheme in Vegas involving gun play and cheap broads.

Enjoy your white Christmas with White Christmas, folks! Turn off Bad Santa, put away Scrooged, and pop in Holiday Inn or Meet Me in St. Louis tonight. For those two hours the world just might feel as pure as new snow.

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