It’s not that I don’t think the little fuzzballs squirming around in my haystack aren’t super cute.
I just don’t need six more cats.
I already have four.
That’s 3 1/2 more than I ever wanted, but every time a stray mamma cat beds down in our barn to drop an illegitimate litter, my kids think they should get to keep one.
Their dad is a softy and gives in.
I try to lay down the mack, but I’ve lost three in a row—obviously.
Even though I didn’t approve of these cat acquisitions, I’ve been responsible and followed Bob Barker’s request to “Help control the pet population.” All four of my cats are neutralized, immunized, clean animals that are well cared for, so I get vexed when others let their unkempt pets procreate willy nilly creating accidental animal spillage into my world.
Besides roaming strays, we also have to deal with cat dumpers.
Sometimes when city folk end up with delinquent litters they think it’s “the humane way” to drive out to the country and dump off the unwanted cats/kittens so they can have a “better life” out in the wild.
Their better life ends up complicating mine.
We’ve found more than our share of ratty cardboard boxes or grocery sacks full of kittens around our property.
Literal littered litters.
Why should I have to pay the $10-per-cat fee to take them to the Humane Society (and that’s IF they even have room to take them, which they rarely do) when I’m the one who is a responsible pet owner?
But, don’t worry.
I don’t get mad.
I get even.
When these cute little kitties are weened off of Mamma in a few weeks and their eyes are all big, and their little mews are so sweet, and they’re all playful and cuddly, I’ll put them in a box and take them into the city.
We’ll sit outside of WalMart, or the Fun Park, or the Jump Zone, or just outside the pool at closing time and I’ll nuzzle with them next to a sign that says “Free Kittens!”
Oh, the swarms of giddy tikes that will gather.
They’ll maul furry friends in their grubby little hands and look desperately up at their moms and plead, “Pleeeeeeeeaaase, Mommy can I have one?”
There’s more than one way to dump a cat.