I’ve said it lots of times and only now do I realize I wasn’t just telling someone to chill, but actually giving them excellent advice because avoiding a hernia is a very good thing.
I now know this because I’ve been diagnosed with a hernia.
It happened in a disc in my neck.
It is HORRIBLE!
Oh, the pain.
I had no idea.
It’s the most continuous discomfort I’ve experienced since childbirth. (I know, I know, women always go there, but we’ve earned it.)
The reason it’s so horrible is because it’s not just an ache in the area of injury. There’s pain, and spasms, and twitching, and numbness in places beyond the herniated disc because the disc is in your spine, and your spine is the mothership for your nerves so those nerves get all pinched and aggravated and scream at you down your arm and in your back and shoulder.
There’s no comfortable way to stand, or sit, or sleep.
Sleep—oh, how I miss you!
For years I’ve taken for granted just lying down in bed in whatever position feels comfy, then drifting off to dreamland like it’s the easiest, most natural thing in the world.
Now I squirm, and toss, and turn, and try to finagle my body into some position, ANY position that will at least minimize the discomfort long enough to trick my brain into thinking of something other than “Ouch . . . Ouch . . . Ouch,” so I can snooze for even a fitful few hours.
The position I can tolerate the most while standing or sitting is resting my arm on my head.
This has brought on more than a little mocking by my children, “You look weird, Mom.”
They don’t understand.
I hope they never have to understand—little punks.
I hope the next time they’re going all ballistic because I won’t let them take the car, or they’re grounded from their friends, or I bought the wrong flavor of Pop Tarts, so I say to them, “Sheesh, don’t have a hernia!” they’ll listen to me and spare themselves such agony.