A Clip from WalMart

clippersWalMart is a fascinating cultural icon of our time.

On one hand, those stores have contributed to the death of the American mom-and-pop shop and quaint shopping districts.

On the other hand, you can buy stuff freakin’ cheap there.

On the third hand, something about those stores brings out the unnatural of humanity.

We’ve all seen those WalMart pics that float around the internet of people wearing and doing things totes inappropro there. Whenever I see those images I think, Eww, is that for real? because some of them are just sooooo nasty it’s hard to believe civilization has gone that far awry.

I’m here to tell you that it has.

The other day I saw a WalMart-What-the? moment firsthand! Okay, I actually heard about it firsthand, but it happened to my neighbor who is extremely reliable and not at all prone to exaggerate slightly for dramatic effect (we’re obviously not tight).

As my neighbor told it, she said she was shopping in the cosmetic aisle when a woman riding a scooter cart came buzzing by. She parked by the nail grooming supplies and took one of those cheap pairs of nail clippers that aren’t packaged off the wall hook and went to town clipping her fingernails right there in the aisle! When she was finished she hung the clippers back on the hook and scootered away.

I’m gagging even as I write about it.

I shudder to think where she went after she did her nails! Did she go brush her hair? Apply some deo? Tweeze her brows? Shave her legs? Who knows that this woman doesn’t go into WalMart once a week and treat herself to an Elizabeth Arden spa day up and down the aisles!

After that she’s probably all tuckered out and heads over to the housewares department for a beauty sleep on a fluffy unpackaged pillow.

I’ll never buy anything at WalMart again that’s not in a safety sealed, bubble wrapped, double duck taped, triple twist tied, super glued shut, bullet proof package.

If it’s not packaged like Barbie, it’s not going home with me.

Not even produce.

Who knows but Lady Clippers doesn’t go around the produce department licking tomatoes.

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