The biggest shopping day of the year . . .
Yep, retailers are contaminating Thanksgiving Day by opening up on the actual holiday to tempt deal-aholics to no sooner wipe the turkey drippings off the corners of their mouths then run out the door to hit the sales.
Now, while I defended the month of November as free game for a little pre-Christmas revelry, I do not condone defiling a national holiday specifically instituted as an observance of gratitude in order to promote commercialism.
Since I mostly use store circulars to set under the cat food dish, I didn’t even know this shameful practice was going on until last Thanksgiving.
I do like to go out a bit with my family on Black Friday to experience the holiday excitement, but we’re hardly door busters. We get up about 9:00, have leftover pie for breakfast, then I usually make everyone engage in some post-gluttony penitence exercise in hopes that we can squeeze back into our pants. We clean up and head out the door in time to go eat lunch somewhere, then get to the stores about 1:00 to see if the zealots left anything on the shelves.
We were following this usual ritual last year when my daughters and I ended up in a cute clothing boutique in the early afternoon. A salesgirl pounced on us to tell us about a BOGO holiday deal something-or-other, which would be nice if we ended up finding some things we wanted. Like I said, for us the day is less about bargains and more about atmosphere.
We were trying on a few things, and I came out of the dressing room in a pair of jeans that magically camouflaged anatomical parts I was sure would be permanently expanded by the previous day’s consumption. I was about to speed dial Santa to tell him I’d save him the trouble and just pick up my gift right then, when I noticed the price tag. Ouch.
Really? A flattering cut costs that much more to produce?
A salesgirl came up and said, “Wow, those jeans look great on you!” Then she saw my sticker-shocked face and said, “It’s too bad you weren’t here yesterday when everything in the store was half off.”
I was confused, “Yesterday?”
She explained, “We had an early bird special on Thanksgiving Day. Do you not receive our mailers?”
I answered, “No, but my cats do and if I was a turkey I’d be livid at the cuckoos trying to hijack my day.”
She didn’t get it and I didn’t get the jeans. I left the store disheartened.
I thought back on what I was doing the day before when all these stores opened their doors tempting people away from family, friends and tradition. I was in the thick of a competitive NFL trivia game with my nephews while enjoying a turkey sandwich on a homemade roll with a side of more pie. There’s no deal that could have torn me away from that.
The world doesn’t need another shopping day. What the world needs is a pair of jeans that shape you like Pippa without needing a royal allowance.